Does This Make Me A Bitch?

Since I started this blog, I've been surfing the net for other dating blogs out there, and I came across one which I won't even bother linking to because it hasn't been updated since 2005, but, the gist was that this woman was supposed to have been married on December 10, but, for some reason or another, the wedding had been called off. Hard to tell when, but it was enough time for her to find a new boyfriend, and to have been dating him for a few months before her would-be wedding day to someone else.

A week or so before that date, she wrote a mopey, feel-sorry-for-me blog post about how awful it was to have to have been jilted, and that she had just attended a friend's bachelorette party and wedding, and had an incredibly hard time staying focused on her friend's happiness because she was consumed by her own grief. I can well imagine! My heart went out to her...

Until a few sentences later, when she mentioned her "new boyfriend," and how supportive he was being towards her--that he intuitively knew what was wrong, despite the fact that she had been trying to cover it up, and blah, blah, blah, "he's such a wonderful guy!"

So, why the hell are you moping around on the internet?? Yes, it's terrible. I'm honestly not sure that I could emotionally survive if my fiance walked out on me, but she seemed to be doing just fine--she was able to attend her friend's wedding and was presumably going to work and not lying alone in the dark, crying like an emo kid. She had managed to find someone else who was completely supportive and understanding of the situation, and did so just in time to not be alone on her would-be wedding day. So, the fact that she was sitting around asking people to feel sorry for her absolutely floored me. Does it make me a little bitchy that I don't feel an ounce of pity for her?

This situation also offers an excellent segue into something else I've been wanting to discuss. Why do men fall for fucked up women? Or, women who have "issues," as they say. Recently, I met someone who was a self-proclaimed womanizer. He showcased to me his strategy for picking up girls at bars, and likened becoming a one-woman man after years of doing this to vets who come back from Iraq and still drive around town expecting a bomb to go off at any moment, because they can't break out of the war mindset. "I know it sounds crazy," he said, "but it's a lot like that. It's really hard to break out of the mindset that you have to sow your seed." In a weird way, it sounded like dedication. He talked about how he had recently surprised himself by becoming a really good, dedicated boyfriend, and then mentioned that his girlfriend had "sooo many issues."

Whoa. What an unexpected turn to the love story that I had been enjoying! However, this was not the first time I've heard of something like this, and I asked why guys fall for girls "with issues."

I've posed this question to several guys recently, and the two most common answers is that men like to feel as though they can "fix" everything, and women with issues are excellent in bed. "They fuck like they're working through their issues."

All right, fair enough.